It can be really confusing sometimes, working out our emotions, and sometimes we might be confused about our feelings. If you are feeling confused or overwhelmed by your feelings, make sure to talk it over with trusted adults, like a Guidance Officer, a parent, teacher, or helpful services like Kid’s Helpline. Kids Helpline also has information about emotions here - https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues/talking-about-feelings
If you are wondering how emotions actually work from a physical point-of-view - the limbic system is a set of basic brain structures located on top of the brainstem and buried under the brain’s cortex. The limbic system controls how you feel and express emotions, as well as some other functions of the body. By producing emotions (such as fear, anger, pleasure, and sadness), the limbic system enables people to behave in ways that help them communicate and survive physical and emotional upsets.
Sometimes friends can act in not very nice ways, or sometimes you can feel left out when there is actually a reason you weren’t invited to a certain activity, like maybe it was just a chance catch-up by your friends and you happened to not be there. Jumping to conclusions and getting angry at your friends is likely to just make matters worse.
Being left out can cause you to feel lots of different negative emotions. You might feel sad at first and then become angry and jealous. These emotions are normal, but they will pass. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you can be helpful. Try talking to a parent, carer, a good friend, or someone else who you feel that you can trust. Explain what happened and be honest about how it made you feel. The person who you share with may be able to give you some advice about how to deal with your situation, and who might have some ideas about why you are being left out. Sometimes we need to think about our own behaviour too and see if there is something we may be doing that is contributing to friends limiting the time they want to spend us.
If you are left out a lot by your friends and if they continue to exclude you after you have talked to them about it, consider finding a new group of friends – one’s who don’t leave you out, who enjoy your company and respect you.
If this is starting to affect your day-to-day life and you stop doing your normal activities or hobbies, it is important to talk to someone like a Guidance Officer, a parent, teacher, chaplain or other trusted adult friend. Or ring Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, where you can talk to someone a bit more specifically about what is going on for you that may be causing you to feel so sad. They also have information on their website specifically about this question. Check it out here https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues
That sounds like such a hard situation to be in! One of the most important rights and responsibilities in a friendship is to show each other respect around beliefs, interests, and especially around your wonderful, unique self! If you feel confident enough, we would recommend that you talk to your friends about how you are feeling, and that you don’t feel supported to be yourself. In the Junior Respect Me program, we have an activity where we learn about using “I feel” statements. You could practice thinking about this and planning what you might want to say using this template “I feel ____________ when you ____________. I would prefer if you _____________” Practicing beforehand can also help you figure out what it is you are feeling, and what your friends are doing that might be causing these feelings. If these feelings are starting to affect your day-to-day life and you stop doing your normal activities or hobbies, it is important to talk to someone like a Guidance Officer, a parent, teacher, chaplain or other trusted adult friend. Or ring Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, where you can talk to someone a bit more specifically about what is going on for you that may be causing you to feel so sad. They also have information on their website specifically about this question. Check it out here https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues
We are so sorry that you feel this way. It’s a little hard for us to know what is happening in your life, or why you feel your friends don’t like you because we don’t know specifically what is going on for you. It may be that you have to have a talk with your friends about what friendship is like, what it means to you, and how you are feeling. Friendships, just like all relationships, change a lot over time because we are changing. Some grow close, some fall apart, some get distant and come back together. You can get some more information on friendships, feeling lonely, and some tips to improve and make friendships on Kids Helpline here https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues
It also sounds very upsetting to feel like even your parents don’t like you. Depending on how you feel about it, we would recommend that you talk to your parents about how you are feeling and also get some support. You can ring Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 and talk to a counsellor there to practice what you might want to say. They may be better able to give you advice as well, since you can be much more specific about what is going on. Depending on how old you are, it might also be a good idea for you to go have a chat with the helpful people at Headspace – they can help you with friendship and family issues, and you can have someone to talk to in person or over the phone. Good luck, and remember, even when you are feeling very sad, it won’t last forever – everything changes and you are growing fast so you will learn and change in ways that likely help you meet and make great friends in the future.
