I’m so sorry to hear this! You don’t deserve to be called ugly by people who are meant to be your friends. People come in all different shapes, sizes, and colours. We are all different and our friends have a responsibility to be respectful and not cause any physical or emotional harm.
If you feel that you can’t tell your friends that what they are saying is hurting you, I suggest you tell a trusted adult as soon as possible so they can help you work this out and talk with you about what a healthy friendship looks like.
It’s really important that these friends are reminded what their rights and responsibilities are in keeping respectful relationships, and that might best be done by an adult.
Check out this post on our website for more on friendships - http://respectme.org.au/so-why-is-respect-important-for-me-and-my-friends/
Having an argument with friends can be really upsetting – but it's also really normal. We are always going to have disagreements with those we are close with (even people we aren’t close with to be honest), because we are all really different people with different needs, goals, behaviours and beliefs. If you are in an argument with a friend and you believe they are upset with you, it might be worth trying to have a private and respectful discussion with them to understand their thoughts and feelings. You might even use an ‘I Statement’ to let them know how you feel and what you would prefer. If you feel you can’t do this by yourself, it would be great to have a trusted teacher or adult help guide you.
Check out this post on our website for more on friendships - http://respectme.org.au/so-why-is-respect-important-for-me-and-my-friends/
I’m so sorry to hear you friends are leaving you. Being left out can cause you to feel lots of different negative emotions. You might feel sad at first and then become angry and jealous. These emotions are normal, but they will pass. Instead of denying your emotions, give yourself some time to feel them.
Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you can be helpful. Try talking to a parent, carer, a good friend, or someone else who you feel that you can trust. Explain what happened and be honest about how it made you feel. The person who you share with may be able to tell you about a time when he or she was left out and may even be able to give you some advice about how to deal with your situation.
If being left out has been an ongoing problem or if you are experiencing distress as a result, then you may want to consider talking to mental health professional. If you are still in school, then you can talk to a school counselor. If you are no longer in school, then you can find a therapist.
If the exclusion was intentional, then it is best to avoid showing your emotions to those who excluded you. Bullies often use exclusion to get a rise out of people, so even if you are upset about being excluded, try not to show it. You may be giving a bully what he wants by showing that you are upset about being excluded. Instead, try to act like you are not bothered by it.
If they continue to exclude you, consider finding a new group of friends – once who don’t leave you out, who enjoy your company and respect you.
Check out this post on our website for more on friendship - http://respectme.org.au/so-why-is-respect-important-for-me-and-my-friends/
It can be really confusing sometimes, working out our emotions, and sometimes we might be confused about our feelings. If you are feeling confused or overwhelmed by your feelings, make sure to talk it over with trusted adults, like a Guidance Officer, a parent, teacher, or helpful services like Kid’s Helpline. Kids Helpline also has information about emotions here - https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues/talking-about-feelings
If you are wondering how emotions actually work from a physical point-of-view - the limbic system is a set of basic brain structures located on top of the brainstem and buried under the brain’s cortex. The limbic system controls how you feel and express emotions, as well as some other functions of the body. By producing emotions (such as fear, anger, pleasure, and sadness), the limbic system enables people to behave in ways that help them communicate and survive physical and emotional upsets.
