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It can feel really stressful being stuck between two friends who are fighting. Remember, you don’t have to choose a side or fix the argument for them.
 
You could tell them, “I care about both of you, but I don’t want to be in the middle.” Try not to pass messages, share screenshots or join in with gossip. Encourage them to speak directly to each other when they are calm and ready to be respectful.
 
If the fighting involves bullying, threats or makes you feel unsafe, please talk to a trusted adult. You deserve to feel safe - always - and friendships where you aren’t made responsible for other people’s problems.
This can be a confusing one because three years doesn’t always sound like a big difference. But at 14 and 17, it definitely is. One person might be starting high school while the other is nearly finished. The older person may have more freedom and experience, which can make it harder for the younger person to speak up or feel like they have an equal say.
 
A 14-year-old and a 17-year-old are allowed to like each other or call it dating. However, there is an important legal boundary. In Queensland, the age of consent is 16. This means a 14-year-old cannot legally agree to sexual activity with a 17-year-old. The 17-year-old should know this and must not ask for anything sexual or for private pictures.
 
The older person should also never ask the younger person to hide the relationship, keep uncomfortable secrets or prove that they are “mature enough.” Someone who cares about you will respect your boundaries and will not pressure you.
 
If you are asking about yourself or someone you know, please talk to an adult you trust. You are not in trouble, and asking questions is a really good way to keep yourself and others safe.
We know that dating and even just thinking about dating can be really overwhelming sometimes. The good news is that you don’t have to know straight away, and choosing to date someone isn’t one big decision you have to get perfectly right. You can take your time, get to know them and change your mind at any point.
 
There are lots of things that would make someone right for you. A good foundation is someone who will respect your “no,” give you space and is okay with you having other friends. You should feel able to be yourself, speak honestly and make your own choices around them. They won’t pressure you, rush you or ask you to keep uncomfortable secrets.
 
You also don’t have to notice every warning sign on your own. If someone starts making all the decisions, constantly checks where you are, follows you or keeps contacting you after you ask them to stop, tell an adult you trust.
 
You don’t need to find the perfect person. Take things slowly, notice how they treat you and remember that safe relationships should feel respectful, equal and comfortable. If something doesn’t feel right, you can step back and talk it through with someone you trust.

Yes. VPG's RespectMe team is categorically pro-cheese. Thank you for asking the important questions.