We're really glad you asked this, and we want to be really clear — if anyone is telling you to hurt yourself, that is not okay. Ever.
You have the right to feel safe, and what you're describing is serious.
Please talk to a trusted adult — a teacher, school counsellor, or someone at home who is safe. If that feels too hard right now, Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is free, confidential and available any time of day or night. You don't have to carry this alone, and reaching out is one of the bravest and smartest things you can do.
You can connect to the Kids Helpline webchat here https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
Really great question — and the answer is actually pretty fascinating! You're all changing incredibly fast right now, and who you are at 11 is genuinely different to who you'll be at 13 or 15.
Healthy relationships need two people who feel safe, equal and connected — and when everyone is growing and changing at different rates, it makes complete sense that things shift. It doesn't mean the feelings weren't real, it just means you're all in the middle of becoming who you're going to be. And that's actually kind of amazing.
Feelings don't come with an on/off switch, so first of all — you're not doing anything wrong by feeling this way, and it happens to a lot of people.
The most respectful move here — for him, his girlfriend, and honestly for yourself too — is to keep those feelings to yourself and give yourself a bit of space if you need it. Part of being in respectful relationships is recognising other people's boundaries, even when it's hard.
Feelings shift more than you'd expect, and the right person at the right time is worth waiting for.
The all-caps energy here is very understood! People can genuinely get on your nerves sometimes, and that frustration is completely valid.
Here's the thing though — everyone, regardless of gender, has the right to be treated with respect, and so do you. When someone is annoying you or not treating you well, you're allowed to create some distance and put your energy into the people who actually make you feel good.
You get to choose who you spend your time with, and you deserve people around you who treat you right.
