That sounds like such a hard situation to be in! One of the most important rights and responsibilities in a friendship is to show each other respect around beliefs, interests, and especially around your wonderful, unique self! If you feel confident enough, we would recommend that you talk to your friends about how you are feeling, and that you don’t feel supported to be yourself. In the Junior Respect Me program, we have an activity where we learn about using “I feel” statements. You could practice thinking about this and planning what you might want to say using this template “I feel ____________ when you ____________. I would prefer if you _____________” Practicing beforehand can also help you figure out what it is you are feeling, and what your friends are doing that might be causing these feelings. If these feelings are starting to affect your day-to-day life and you stop doing your normal activities or hobbies, it is important to talk to someone like a Guidance Officer, a parent, teacher, chaplain or other trusted adult friend. Or ring Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, where you can talk to someone a bit more specifically about what is going on for you that may be causing you to feel so sad. They also have information on their website specifically about this question. Check it out here https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues
We are so sorry that you feel this way. It’s a little hard for us to know what is happening in your life, or why you feel your friends don’t like you because we don’t know specifically what is going on for you. It may be that you have to have a talk with your friends about what friendship is like, what it means to you, and how you are feeling. Friendships, just like all relationships, change a lot over time because we are changing. Some grow close, some fall apart, some get distant and come back together. You can get some more information on friendships, feeling lonely, and some tips to improve and make friendships on Kids Helpline here https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues
It also sounds very upsetting to feel like even your parents don’t like you. Depending on how you feel about it, we would recommend that you talk to your parents about how you are feeling and also get some support. You can ring Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 and talk to a counsellor there to practice what you might want to say. They may be better able to give you advice as well, since you can be much more specific about what is going on. Depending on how old you are, it might also be a good idea for you to go have a chat with the helpful people at Headspace – they can help you with friendship and family issues, and you can have someone to talk to in person or over the phone. Good luck, and remember, even when you are feeling very sad, it won’t last forever – everything changes and you are growing fast so you will learn and change in ways that likely help you meet and make great friends in the future.
There is no magic number when it comes to friends. Some people have heaps of friends, both close and casual, and some people have just one really close best friend. Some people don’t really have any close friends or their friends might only be online. The important thing is that you are happy and have healthy and respectful relationships with any friends that you do have, and that your friends are respectful and supportive of you.
That’s a big question! There are many different types of relationships, and respect might look a bit different, depending on the relationship type.
However, if we are talking romantic relationships, a healthy relationship is one where both people are comfortable, safe and equal, and there is an equal balance of power – neither is trying to control or manipulate the other person; It’s a relationship in which both people are aware of and commit to:
- Supporting each other’s right to say no to things they aren’t ready for
- Giving space and support for each to express their opinion and disagree without pressure.
- Treating each other as an equal
- To never threaten, control or manipulate – to feel safe.
- Supporting each other’s cultural and spiritual beliefs regardless of whether they share them or not.
- Hanging out with friends and family separately sometimes without feeling guilty.
- Always speaking to and treating each other respectfully at all times, even during an argument or in a break up.
- Never using any kind of physical abuse or threats of physical abuse.
You can read more on this post - http://respectme.org.au/respectful-relationship-look-like/
