Even though this person is not your close friend, every young person deserves to be respected. Respect means that despite your differences that both of you feel safe to be yourselves and not be judged or harmed (either physically or emotionally).
It can be tricky practicing respect for people who don’t respect our values and boundaries, however we all have rights and responsibilities and it’s important that all young people feel safe.
Being respectful to an acquaintance could look as easy as smiling and saying hello, and treating someone like you would like to be treated.
I don’t think this is toxic at all, it sounds very normal. If a friend hasn’t respected you and has hurt you in some way, it is very normal for you to have lost trust in them.
If you haven’t spoken to your friend about how they hurt you or made you feel, it could be a good start. It’s important they know how you feel so that it doesn’t happen again. If you feel that you can’t have this conversation with them by yourself or it may not be safe to do so, you may want to talk to a trusted adult to try and help you work out a solution.
Trust in friendships can be hard to rebuild but it isn’t impossible if you are both able to communicate respectfully and accept each other’s opinions.
There are lots of reasons we get upset when we can’t have things our way and there are many different ways you can try to control this. Some things to focus on may include how your body feels before you get upset, so you can recognize when you are becoming upset and can control your feelings easier. You may like to focus on your breathing to help calm yourself down, or having a cold drink of water, there are lots of other strategies your school counsellor could help you with and help you understand how our brains work when we get upset.
ALWAYS remember the rights that you have and the responsibilities that you have. You can’t ever control how someone else behaves, but you can decide whether or not you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t respect your rights. And ALWAYS remember your responsibilities. If you are friends with someone, you are responsible for treating them with respect and making sure that you don’t harm them - physically or emotionally.
If it continues to be a problem for you and find it really hard to control how your feel, please speak to an adult that you trust to give you good advice. A good guide is to treat other people the way that you like to be treated!
I’m so sorry to hear this! You don’t deserve to be called ugly by people who are meant to be your friends. People come in all different shapes, sizes, and colours. We are all different and our friends have a responsibility to be respectful and not cause any physical or emotional harm.
If you feel that you can’t tell your friends that what they are saying is hurting you, I suggest you tell a trusted adult as soon as possible so they can help you work this out and talk with you about what a healthy friendship looks like.
It’s really important that these friends are reminded what their rights and responsibilities are in keeping respectful relationships, and that might best be done by an adult.
Check out this post on our website for more on friendships - http://respectme.org.au/so-why-is-respect-important-for-me-and-my-friends/
