This can be really tricky. If your friendship is important to you – you should talk with your friend first about your feelings. Although this may be hard, going behind your friend’s back and secretly seeing their ex can create much bigger problems and damage your friendship. Keep in mind that bringing this up may piss your friend off. Practising what to say to your friend first may help.
Break ups can be very difficult, even if you were the one who broke it off, and you might feel really crap for a while. Some people cry a lot, some people don’t eat much, and some people want lots of time by themselves. Because each relationship and each person is different we will all feel sad for different lengths of time. It’s important after a break up to look after yourself. If you feel that things are getting worse or you are not coping it may be helpful to talk to someone such as a friend, your mum or dad, or a school counsellor.
We each have different personal values. If your bf/gf's comments are in conflict with your values and are impacting on your relationship, how you feel about them or how you feel about yourself, then you should probably have a talk with them. Some of these values might be something you are willing to negotiate and compromise on but some may be ‘deal breakers.’ It’s important to reflect upon what you are and aren’t ok with and what you don’t like and to talk about this with your partner.
A lot of young people are confronted by this issue in their relationships. It is important to consider the consequences of sending a picture. It is really important that you think about why you are doing it and what could happen if you do send a picture. Some of the possible things that could happen include:
- Legal ramifications (young people being charged with producing and distributing child pornography),
- Viral distribution of the image/s (once you send that image you have no control over where it goes or who gets to see it).
- Break-ups. If you and your partner break up, what could happen with the image ... how would you feel about friends, family, teachers, work mates seeing the image?
It is something that might seem fun and harmless at the time but it is a big risk. There are also other ways to be intimate and have fun with your partner.
