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We’re really glad you asked, because it can feel pretty awkward or confusing when a friend suddenly starts sending sexual messages and you’re not sure how to respond. Start with how you feel about it. Are you comfortable, interested, unsure or wishing they would stop? Whatever the answer is, you don’t owe them sexual messages or pictures back.
 
If you don’t want the messages, be clear. You could say, “Hey, I’m not really comfortable with this. I need you to stop.” A real friend will respect that. If they keep going, pressure you or ask you to keep it secret, you can block or report them and talk to an adult you trust.
 
If the sexting includes a nude and you feel comfortable to reply, delete the image and let them know you’re not okay with receiving nudes. They may have sent it without stopping to think about how you would feel, so being clear might be enough for them to understand and not do it again. You can be direct, or even use a bit of humour or a meme if that feels more like you.
 
The age of consent in Queensland is 16, but the law around nudes is different. Sexual images of anyone under 18 can result in serious legal problems, so don’t save, screenshot or share the nude. If you need evidence, screenshot the messages, username, date and time, but not the image itself.
 
You don’t have to handle this alone or know the perfect thing to do. A trusted adult, like a family member, teacher or school wellbeing person, can help you work out what happens next. You can also report the image or account through the app, especially if they keep going after you’ve asked them to stop. This may help protect other people too.
 
Most importantly, please don’t panic. You haven’t done anything wrong by receiving it, and asking for help won’t get you in trouble. You can find more advice on the eSafety website here: https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/receiving-unwanted-nudes
We get questions about age gaps a lot. Dating someone older is not automatically unhealthy, but 14 and 17 can be a significant difference. One person may be just starting high school while the other is nearly finished. The older person may have more independence, relationship experience or confidence, which can create a power imbalance.
 
That doesn’t tell us everything about the relationship, but it does mean there are important things to consider. Can both people set boundaries and make their own choices? Does the younger person still feel free to spend time with friends and family? Or does the older person use their age or experience to pressure them, make the decisions or convince them that they need to “prove” they are mature enough?
 
There is also an important legal difference. Dating itself is not illegal, but the age of consent in Queensland is 16. A 14-year-old cannot legally consent to sexual activity with a 17-year-old, even if they like them or feel ready. The 17-year-old is responsible for knowing and respecting that boundary. No one should pressure another person into sexual activity or ask them to send private images.
 
If this is about your relationship and something doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling. Talk to an adult you trust or a support service before the situation goes any further. Asking for advice doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong or that you have to end the relationship immediately. It means you’re taking your safety seriously and getting support to make an informed decision.
Okay! Let’s break this down into two parts.
 
First of all, having sex while someone has their period is generally safe, as long as everyone involved genuinely wants to and feels comfortable. It might be a little messier, but there is nothing gross, wrong or embarrassing about having sex while someone is on their period.
 
Depending on the kind of sex, pregnancy may still be possible if sperm enters a vagina, even during a period. STIs and some infections carried through blood can also be passed on during different kinds of sex, so using condoms, or other barriers is still a really important thing to remember.
 
The bigger issue here is age. In Queensland, the age of consent is 16. If anyone involved is under 16, they cannot legally consent to any sort of sexual activity, even if everyone is close in age and says yes.
 
If you’re asking because this has already happened and you’re worried about pregnancy, STIs, the law or anything that didn’t feel right, you don’t have to work it out alone. You can speak privately with a trusted adult, doctor, sexual health clinic like Cairns Sexual Health or True Relationships and Reproductive Health. You can also contact Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
Someone fighting “for you” might be presented as romantic or protective, but violence can quickly make things more dangerous for everyone. A caring partner should listen to what you want and help you feel safe, not make the situation bigger or decide that fighting is the answer.
 
Once everyone is safe, tell the person you're dating clearly that you do not want them fighting for you. Pay attention to how they respond. Taking responsibility and respecting your boundary is very different from blaming you, boasting about the fight or using jealousy as an excuse.
 
If they regularly start fights, threaten people, control who you speak to or make you feel frightened, talk to a trusted adult or support person. You can also use the support links on this page to speak privately with someone who can help you work out what to do next. Kids Helpline is available on 1800 55 1800, and 1800RESPECT is available on 1800 737 732. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 000.
 
You are not responsible for their decision to fight, and you do not have to stay with someone whose behaviour makes you feel unsafe.