“Is it okay for a 14 year old to date a 17 year old?”
We get questions about age gaps a lot. Dating someone older is not automatically unhealthy, but 14 and 17 can be a significant difference. One person may be just starting high school while the other is nearly finished. The older person may have more independence, relationship experience or confidence, which can create a power imbalance.
That doesn’t tell us everything about the relationship, but it does mean there are important things to consider. Can both people set boundaries and make their own choices? Does the younger person still feel free to spend time with friends and family? Or does the older person use their age or experience to pressure them, make the decisions or convince them that they need to “prove” they are mature enough?
There is also an important legal difference. Dating itself is not illegal, but the age of consent in Queensland is 16. A 14-year-old cannot legally consent to sexual activity with a 17-year-old, even if they like them or feel ready. The 17-year-old is responsible for knowing and respecting that boundary. No one should pressure another person into sexual activity or ask them to send private images.
If this is about your relationship and something doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling. Talk to an adult you trust or a support service before the situation goes any further. Asking for advice doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong or that you have to end the relationship immediately. It means you’re taking your safety seriously and getting support to make an informed decision.
“Is it okay to have sex with someone on their period, and be under the age of 16?”
Okay! Let’s break this down into two parts.
First of all, having sex while someone has their period is generally safe, as long as everyone involved genuinely wants to and feels comfortable. It might be a little messier, but there is nothing gross, wrong or embarrassing about having sex while someone is on their period.
Depending on the kind of sex, pregnancy may still be possible if sperm enters a vagina, even during a period. STIs and some infections carried through blood can also be passed on during different kinds of sex, so using condoms, or other barriers is still a really important thing to remember.
The bigger issue here is age. In Queensland, the age of consent is 16. If anyone involved is under 16, they cannot legally consent to any sort of sexual activity, even if everyone is close in age and says yes.
If you’re asking because this has already happened and you’re worried about pregnancy, STIs, the law or anything that didn’t feel right, you don’t have to work it out alone. You can speak privately with a trusted adult, doctor, sexual health clinic like Cairns Sexual Health or True Relationships and Reproductive Health. You can also contact Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
“What if the person you are dating fights a guy for you?”
Someone fighting “for you” might be presented as romantic or protective, but violence can quickly make things more dangerous for everyone. A caring partner should listen to what you want and help you feel safe, not make the situation bigger or decide that fighting is the answer.
Once everyone is safe, tell the person you're dating clearly that you do not want them fighting for you. Pay attention to how they respond. Taking responsibility and respecting your boundary is very different from blaming you, boasting about the fight or using jealousy as an excuse.
If they regularly start fights, threaten people, control who you speak to or make you feel frightened, talk to a trusted adult or support person. You can also use the support links on this page to speak privately with someone who can help you work out what to do next. Kids Helpline is available on 1800 55 1800, and 1800RESPECT is available on 1800 737 732. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 000.
You are not responsible for their decision to fight, and you do not have to stay with someone whose behaviour makes you feel unsafe.
“What if one person likes me and I'm dating someone, then l said no to them kindly but they are trying to make my life a living hell?”
First, you did nothing wrong. You were honest, you were kind and you said no. That was enough.
Being rejected can hurt, but trying to punish you for it is not okay, and it is not your job to make them feel better by changing your answer. If you need to, send one clear message: “I’ve already said no. I need you to stop contacting me and leave me alone.” Then stop arguing your case. “No” is a complete answer, not the beginning of a negotiation.
Save screenshots and details of what they are doing, then block them where you can. Tell a trusted adult, teacher or school wellbeing worker, especially if they are spreading rumours, threatening you, following you, repeatedly contacting you or trying to damage your friendships or relationship. You can also contact Kids Helpline on **1800 55 1800** for private support.
