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There is no secret trick to knowing if a girl likes you. Some people flirt heaps, some people get nervous and awkward, and some people act completely normal while secretly freaking out inside. Humans can be pretty confusing sometimes. 

The only real way to know is to ask. It does not have to be perfect - just honest and respectful. Something simple like, “Hey, I like talking to you. Do you maybe feel the same?” is totally enough. 

And yes, it can definitely feel scary! Rejection can feel awkward and being vulnerable isn’t always easy. It might sting for a bit if they do not feel the same way, but that does not mean there is something wrong with you or that you are “not enough.” We really cannot control who we catch feelings for sometimes... it just happens. 

What matters most is how you handle the answer. If someone says no, respect it. Give them space, be kind, and try not to pressure them or make them feel guilty. Being able to handle rejection respectfully is actually a really mature and caring thing to do. Big green flag stuff. 

Just remember, feelings can be big, messy, exciting, awkward, confusing — sometimes all at once — and that is completely normal. If you feel comfortable, and ready for whatever answer they give, be honest, ask the question, and see where it goes. Good luck 💛 

Gooning is an online slang term. It refers to spending a long time watching porn and masturbating in a very intense, focused, almost trance-like state. 

Now that we know what it is… let’s get into the “is it okay?” part. Exploring your body or masturbating? Normal.  But where it can get a bit off is when it turns into something super intense, hard to stop, or starts messing with your mood, sleep, focus, or how you see yourself and other people. That’s where it can start to tip into not feeling so great over time. 

And just being real about porn for a second… most of it isn’t showing real sex or real connection. It’s made to grab your attention and keep you there. That can slowly start to shape what you think is normal without you even noticing. It can impact how you navigate consent, respect and communication with people IRL. 

It’s also designed to hook your brain. Quick hits of dopamine, easy to keep going back. That’s not a “you” problem, that’s literally how it’s built. But it also doesn’t mean you’re stuck in it. If something starts to feel off, you’re allowed to step back and reset. If this feels tricky, talk to a trusted adult about it – you could call Kids Helpline if you don’t have anyone IRL you feel comfortable talking to  - 1800 55 1800. 

Curiosity is normal. Just make sure you’re deciding what feels right for you, not the internet. 

The fact that they asked you first instead of just going for it? Huge green flag. That’s what consent actually looks like in real life, checking in, not guessing. 

Now, you’ve already said you’d be okay with it, so this is really just about picking the convo back up. It doesn’t need to be deep or perfectly worded. You could literally say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about what you said about kissing… do you still feel that way?”  

If that feels a bit direct, you could also keep it lighter like, “Hey, random but I keep thinking about that kissing convo 👀” or bring it up naturally next time you’re chatting. There’s no perfect way to do it, just something that feels like you. 

Just keep it mutual, clear, and pressure-free for both of you whilst also confirming their consent. You’re allowed to check in, change your mind, take things slow, or even laugh about how awkward it feels. That’s all part of it. 

Great question, and thank you for trusting us with it. 

Quick note for readers: a queerplatonic relationship is a close, committed relationship that might not fit typical “friend” or “romantic” labels. It can look different for everyone, which is why checking in like this matters so much. 

This question is so real. And thank you for trusting us with it, we know how big this can feel. 

Sometimes “can’t” means it feels scary. Sometimes it’s “what would people think?” Sometimes it’s “I don’t even know what this means about me.” And sometimes it’s just… this could make things complicated. Figuring out which one it is for you can help you understand what’s going on underneath all of this. All of that makes sense and none of it means the feeling itself is wrong. 

Also, this is way more common than you probably think. A lot of people your age are having very similar thoughts and just not saying them out loud. 

I know you want the feelings to stop, and that’s really real. But feelings don’t usually switch off like that. What you can do is take the intensity down a bit. Give yourself some breathing room, try not to let your brain spiral on it 24/7, and let it exist without it taking over everything. 

You don’t have to act on it. You don’t have to label it. You don’t have to tell her, or anyone, if you’re not ready. You don’t have to figure out your whole identity from this one feeling. 

If you ever want to talk to someone anonymously who gets it, QLife is really good. Free, confidential, and genuinely kind. 1800 184 527 or qlife.org.au. Kids HelpLine is also another option – 1800 55 1800. 

You’re not weird for this. You’re not the only one feeling it, even if it feels like you are sometimes. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. 

You’re just a human having real feelings for another human, and that can get a bit complicated sometimes. But it also means you’re capable of connection, care, and depth, and those are really good things to have.