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It can be really hard to watch your close friend stay in an unhealthy relationship but the most important thing you can do is to be there for your friend and support them no matter what their decision is (if they stay in the relationship or break up).

Talking and listening to your friend shows that you care and this may also help your friend realise that they may not be in a respectful relationship.  It’s important not to blame your friend for the relationship or tell them to leave. Instead ask them if there is anything you can do to help, let them know about the support services in school or in your community that may be helpful.  For more information check out our page on Intimate  Partner Violence for tips on what to do & say to a friend who may be in an unhealthy relationship.

This is a complex question and one that is a little difficult to answer without the context. Friends can have different views, different beliefs, hobbies, interests, lifestyles and still be great friends. It's all about respect and healthy communication. It sounds like what would be helpful is to check in with yourself around what is and makes a good friend/friendship and work out if what you and your friend have is healthy, balanced and respectful.     I noticed, you said you try not to make any mistakes. It is a good idea to check in with yourself around what mistakes you are talking about. If your friends' expectations are controlling, for example, you spend time with someone else and he/she gets angry at you and makes you feel like you have made a mistake, then your friend is not respecting your right to have other friends. Your friends should always support you and not try to control you. If however, your mistake is talking negatively about your friend behind his/her back and your friend gets upset, then you have broken your responsibility to be a good friend and your friend can decide if they still want to be friends with you or not.     You can’t ever control how someone else behaves, but you can decide whether you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t respect your rights. And ALWAYS remember your responsibilities. If you are friends with someone, you are responsible for treating them with respect and making sure that you don’t harm them - physically or emotionally.     Some ways to check if you and your friend are treating each other respectfully:   
  • Accept people as they are. You can like other people even if you don't agree with everything they say or do.  
  • Be a good listener so that others can tell that you are really interested in what they are saying.  
  • Ask them about themselves.  
  • Be a positive person; talk about the good things in your life. No one wants to be hassled by problems all the time.  
  • Don't be a cruel gossip or tell tales… "She said… and I don't think she likes… and she doesn't want to be your friend." Sounds familiar?   
If it continues to be a problem for you, speak to an adult that you trust to give you good advice on how to be a good friend. A good guide is to treat other people the way that you like to be treated!    Also check out our post on Relationship Rights and Responsibilities.    - Christie