Having to keep a secret like that is really hard, particularly if it’s in your family, or if you’re concerned about the safety and wellbeing of another person.  Sometimes, but certainly not always, talking about the violence can make it worse if you’re given the wrong advice or if the person you talk to tells the wrong people at the wrong time. However, it is really important that you talk to someone who you can trust and who will be able to help you know what to do.  There are a number of people in school that you can talk to such as guidance officers/counsellors; there are also many community support services that specialise in domestic violence counselling.  For more information, check out our page on Intimate Partner Violence and how to support someone experiencing this.

It can be really hard to watch your close friend stay in an unhealthy relationship but the most important thing you can do is to be there for your friend and support them no matter what their decision is (if they stay in the relationship or break up).

Talking and listening to your friend shows that you care and this may also help your friend realise that they may not be in a respectful relationship.  It’s important not to blame your friend for the relationship or tell them to leave. Instead ask them if there is anything you can do to help, let them know about the support services in school or in your community that may be helpful.  For more information check out our page on Intimate  Partner Violence for tips on what to do & say to a friend who may be in an unhealthy relationship.