It can feel important — mostly because everyone around you is talking about crushes, situationships, “talking stages”, and who likes who.
But honestly? A lot of relationships under 15 are more about experimenting with feelings than building serious partnerships. People are figuring out attraction, friendship, boundaries, jealousy, and communication for the first time. Sometimes it’s cute. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it lasts two weeks and ends because someone left someone on delivered.
You’re not behind if you’re not dating. Your life aura is not determined by whether you have a partner at 14 – I promise.
This is so tough, and you clearly care about your friend a lot. Abuse can make people feel confused, isolated, or like they have to stay. Going back to someone who’s hurt you doesn’t mean you’re weak — it usually means that person is really good at manipulating or guilting you.
The best thing you can do is stay calm, open, and safe. Let her know you’re there no matter what — and that she can talk to you when she’s ready. Judging or pushing her to leave might shut her down, even if your heart is in the right place.
If you’re worried for her safety, don’t keep it a secret. Talk to a trusted adult or reach out to 1800RESPECT or Kids Helpline. You’re not dobbing — you’re doing what a good mate does.
Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is free, confidential and available any time of day or night. You can connect to the Kids Helpline webchat here https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
You're not alone in feeling this way, and you're not broken. Mental illness is something lots of people experience, and it’s okay to say it out loud.
The hardest part can be naming it, and you've already done that which is super brave.
Now it’s time to take care of you. Talk to an adult you trust — a school counsellor, GP, youth worker, or even a mental health service like Headspace or Kids Helpline. They’ll take you seriously and help you figure out what’s going on. You deserve support and there are lots of people who care.
Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is free, confidential and available any time of day or night. You can connect to the Kids Helpline webchat here https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
It’s more than fair to start thinking about what you want, and to have a real conversation about it.
There’s no rule about who has to bring it up. If things feel unclear, speak up. Whether you’re after clarity, commitment, or just a little “hey, what is this?” — that’s not too much. That’s basic communication.
And if they dodge it, brush it off, or make you feel weird for asking? That might be your answer.
No matter how this plays out, look after yourself. Talk it out with someone you trust. Journal it. Rage walk it off.
Whatever it is — dating, talking, vibing, or somewhere in between — it deserves honest communication. You should feel safe asking the big stuff.
