We are so sorry that you feel this way. It’s a little hard for us to know what is happening in your life, or why you feel your friends don’t like you because we don’t know specifically what is going on for you. It may be that you have to have a talk with your friends about what friendship is like, what it means to you, and how you are feeling. Friendships, just like all relationships, change a lot over time because we are changing. Some grow close, some fall apart, some get distant and come back together. You can get some more information on friendships, feeling lonely, and some tips to improve and make friendships on Kids Helpline here https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/issues
It also sounds very upsetting to feel like even your parents don’t like you. Depending on how you feel about it, we would recommend that you talk to your parents about how you are feeling and also get some support. You can ring Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 and talk to a counsellor there to practice what you might want to say. They may be better able to give you advice as well, since you can be much more specific about what is going on. Depending on how old you are, it might also be a good idea for you to go have a chat with the helpful people at Headspace – they can help you with friendship and family issues, and you can have someone to talk to in person or over the phone. Good luck, and remember, even when you are feeling very sad, it won’t last forever – everything changes and you are growing fast so you will learn and change in ways that likely help you meet and make great friends in the future.
There is no magic number when it comes to friends. Some people have heaps of friends, both close and casual, and some people have just one really close best friend. Some people don’t really have any close friends or their friends might only be online. The important thing is that you are happy and have healthy and respectful relationships with any friends that you do have, and that your friends are respectful and supportive of you.
That’s a big question! There are many different types of relationships, and respect might look a bit different, depending on the relationship type.
However, if we are talking romantic relationships, a healthy relationship is one where both people are comfortable, safe and equal, and there is an equal balance of power – neither is trying to control or manipulate the other person; It’s a relationship in which both people are aware of and commit to:
- Supporting each other’s right to say no to things they aren’t ready for
- Giving space and support for each to express their opinion and disagree without pressure.
- Treating each other as an equal
- To never threaten, control or manipulate – to feel safe.
- Supporting each other’s cultural and spiritual beliefs regardless of whether they share them or not.
- Hanging out with friends and family separately sometimes without feeling guilty.
- Always speaking to and treating each other respectfully at all times, even during an argument or in a break up.
- Never using any kind of physical abuse or threats of physical abuse.
You can read more on this post - http://respectme.org.au/respectful-relationship-look-like/
Sometimes, when people are disrespectful to a person it can be because they think their own wants/ desires or beliefs are more important than others’. When we think we are more important than others, it can turn into behaviour that belittles the others, or even behaviour that is disrespectful and harmful to the others. You haven’t mentioned what they are doing that is disrespectful, so it’s hard to answer in a very specific way, but well done for wanting to stand up for your girlfriend and your relationship.
In Junior RespectMe, we have a session where we go over our Rights and Responsibilities in relationships, but all of these things are HUMAN rights – we should expect to be treated with respect by everyone, and to stand up for ourselves and others if those rights are not respected. These rights include:
- I have the right to say no to things I don’t want to do
- I have the right to express my opinion.
- I have the right to respectfully disagree with my friend
- I have the right to be treated as an equal
- I have the right to never be threatened or controlled – to feel safe.
- I have the right to recognise my culture and spiritual beliefs.
- I have the right to hang out with my friends and family without my boy/girlfriend
- I have the right to be spoken to and treated respectfully at all times, even during an argument or in a break up.
- I have the right not to be physically abused- hit, pushed or poked
Don’t forget that you also have the responsibility to treat others’ with respect as well! When you see someone not respecting your girlfriend, you can speak up by calling it out and saying that is disrespectful but make sure that you do it in a respectful and safe way. It the behaviour is constant and serious, you may need to talk to a trusted adult to get some more specific advice and support about what it best to do.
