Such a good question — and straight up, the answer is no. Your rights don’t magically disappear just because you’re in a relationship. You still get to set boundaries, say yes, say no, change your mind, and feel safe in your own skin.
Being close with someone doesn’t mean they suddenly get full access to your body, your time, or your private life. You don’t owe anyone anything — not even if you really like them, not even if you’ve done stuff before.
If someone’s acting like the rules are different now that you're “together”? That’s a red flag. Real love (or even just a decent vibe) should feel like freedom — not pressure, not guilt, and definitely not like walking on eggshells.
Please check in with a trusted adult — and if that feels too close, call or message Kids Helpline or 1800RESPECT. They’re free, confidential, and actually listen without judgement.
Stereotypes hand out these dusty old scripts like, “Boys should be strong, in control, and never show emotion,” while “girls are supposed to be sweet, quiet, and basically revolve their whole life around a boyfriend.” These roles are super limiting — they crush communication, blur boundaries, and make real connection way harder.
When we’re stuck acting out these gender roles, we stop being ourselves.
The problem with stereotypes is that they can make us think we are *supposed* to act a certain way – which is totally not the case! Guys might feel like they have to not show their emotions or be strong and sensible when really they just wanna send goofy memes at 2am and share with their partner when they are feeling down. Girls might feel like they can’t speak up, set boundaries, or say what they actually want without being called “too dramatic.” And while this question asked about boys and girls — let’s not forget our non-binary mates, who often get forgotten from the convo. No matter the gender, everyone deserves to be able to be themselves in a relationship - with love, respect, and consensual snugs.
Honestly, in the end... relationships should be about being you, not some stereotype. Ditch the script. Be kind. Respect each other. That’s the vibe.
Ooft – that’s a messy one. Your feelings are totally valid, and I’m really sorry you got hurt like that. It’s normal to still have feelings for someone, even if they didn’t treat you right. But let’s be real: if they were cool keeping you in a situationship and getting a partner behind your back, that’s not just shady — it’s straight-up disrespect.
Having feelings doesn’t mean you have to forget how they treated you. You deserve honesty, respect, and someone who sees your worth from the start. Be kind to yourself while your heart figures out the best way forward. If you think they would respond to a proper heart-to-heart conversation about your future, this could be an option, but if not, it may be time to forget what could have been.
You might like to have a look at our post about relationship rights and responsibilities for a guide on some of the things you could talk about - https://respectme.org.au/relationship-rights-responsibilities/
Wow! Thank you. Seriously. That kind of message really hits, in the best way.
It’s such a privilege to do this work. We believe that all young people deserve real, honest conversations, and safe spaces to learn about respect, relationships, and who they are. If our sessions together have landed for you, that means the world to us!
Thank you for being here, asking questions, and being part of the conversation. Keep being curious, kind, and true to yourself — you’re exactly who this is all for.
