Ask a question

Gooning is an online slang term. It refers to spending a long time watching porn and masturbating in a very intense, focused, almost trance-like state. 

Now that we know what it is… let’s get into the “is it okay?” part. Exploring your body or masturbating? Normal.  But where it can get a bit off is when it turns into something super intense, hard to stop, or starts messing with your mood, sleep, focus, or how you see yourself and other people. That’s where it can start to tip into not feeling so great over time. 

And just being real about porn for a second… most of it isn’t showing real sex or real connection. It’s made to grab your attention and keep you there. That can slowly start to shape what you think is normal without you even noticing. It can impact how you navigate consent, respect and communication with people IRL. 

It’s also designed to hook your brain. Quick hits of dopamine, easy to keep going back. That’s not a “you” problem, that’s literally how it’s built. But it also doesn’t mean you’re stuck in it. If something starts to feel off, you’re allowed to step back and reset. If this feels tricky, talk to a trusted adult about it – you could call Kids Helpline if you don’t have anyone IRL you feel comfortable talking to  - 1800 55 1800. 

Curiosity is normal. Just make sure you’re deciding what feels right for you, not the internet. 

In the Respect Me program, we do talk a fair bit about violence against men in addition to violence against women.  In Australia, about 1 in 16 males are physically abused by their partners, 1 in 20 are sexually abused, and 1 in 2 experience violence in the community – also usually from other men in places like clubs and other entertainment venues.  However, the majority of the victims/survivors of intimate partner violence are female (about 4 - 5 times more women than men), and they experience a repeated pattern of abuse from their partners -  so we have more scenarios/examples in the program that reflect that fact.  The statistics come from thousands of people being surveyed and interviewed as part of the Census and research studies as well as hospital and police data.   

 

This does not mean in any way that women can’t be abusive. 1 in 6 men experience emotional abuse in their lifetime, and there is evidence that both men and women use emotional, social and financial abuse in relationships. Women can also be physically violent, but less often and generally with less physical impact.   

 

Intimate partner violence is a problem that affects all of us, and we want to work together to create a safer community that supports men, women and gender diverse people to have safe and healthy relationships.  If you would like more information on male victim/survivors of intimate partner violence, as well as ways men can participate in creating a safer and more equal world, we recommend Mensline  https://mensline.org.au/family-violence/  

Less than 1.6%. False reports of car theft are 2.6%.

There is no such thing as ‘gray rape’. But I expect that you’re asking about rape where it’s not really rape. And just so you’re sure – there is no rape where it’s not really rape - rape is rape. However people (rape apologists) may like to dress it up (or down) by using terms like ‘date rape’, 'marital rape’, or ‘she changed her mind half way through’...  sex without consent is rape. It's ideas like this that feed the rape culture belief that rape is only ‘real’ rape when it’s a stranger, even though women are three times more likely to be raped by someone they know.