The fact that they asked you first instead of just going for it? Huge green flag. That’s what consent actually looks like in real life, checking in, not guessing.
Now, you’ve already said you’d be okay with it, so this is really just about picking the convo back up. It doesn’t need to be deep or perfectly worded. You could literally say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about what you said about kissing… do you still feel that way?”
If that feels a bit direct, you could also keep it lighter like, “Hey, random but I keep thinking about that kissing convo 👀” or bring it up naturally next time you’re chatting. There’s no perfect way to do it, just something that feels like you.
Just keep it mutual, clear, and pressure-free for both of you whilst also confirming their consent. You’re allowed to check in, change your mind, take things slow, or even laugh about how awkward it feels. That’s all part of it.
Great question, and thank you for trusting us with it.
Quick note for readers: a queerplatonic relationship is a close, committed relationship that might not fit typical “friend” or “romantic” labels. It can look different for everyone, which is why checking in like this matters so much.
This question is so real. And thank you for trusting us with it, we know how big this can feel.
Sometimes “can’t” means it feels scary. Sometimes it’s “what would people think?” Sometimes it’s “I don’t even know what this means about me.” And sometimes it’s just… this could make things complicated. Figuring out which one it is for you can help you understand what’s going on underneath all of this. All of that makes sense and none of it means the feeling itself is wrong.
Also, this is way more common than you probably think. A lot of people your age are having very similar thoughts and just not saying them out loud.
I know you want the feelings to stop, and that’s really real. But feelings don’t usually switch off like that. What you can do is take the intensity down a bit. Give yourself some breathing room, try not to let your brain spiral on it 24/7, and let it exist without it taking over everything.
You don’t have to act on it. You don’t have to label it. You don’t have to tell her, or anyone, if you’re not ready. You don’t have to figure out your whole identity from this one feeling.
If you ever want to talk to someone anonymously who gets it, QLife is really good. Free, confidential, and genuinely kind. 1800 184 527 or qlife.org.au. Kids HelpLine is also another option – 1800 55 1800.
You’re not weird for this. You’re not the only one feeling it, even if it feels like you are sometimes. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
You’re just a human having real feelings for another human, and that can get a bit complicated sometimes. But it also means you’re capable of connection, care, and depth, and those are really good things to have.
If you’re feeling like this, we’re really glad you asked for support. Feeling like you want to end your life can happen when someone is carrying a lot of pain, stress, loneliness, or big feelings for a long time. Things can get better and there are lots of people who can help you with this.
You deserve support and care, and you shouldn’t have to deal with those feelings on your own. Talking to someone you trust — like a parent, carer, teacher, school counsellor, youth worker, or doctor — can be a really important first step.
You can also contact Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline (13 11 14) anytime to talk to a trained counsellor. They are there to listen and help you through tough moments. Your life matters, and there are people who want to support you.
You can connect to the Kids Helpline webchat here https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
