“What do I do if my friend has been sexting me?”
We’re really glad you asked, because it can feel pretty awkward or confusing when a friend suddenly starts sending sexual messages and you’re not sure how to respond. Start with how you feel about it. Are you comfortable, interested, unsure or wishing they would stop? Whatever the answer is, you don’t owe them sexual messages or pictures back.
If you don’t want the messages, be clear. You could say, “Hey, I’m not really comfortable with this. I need you to stop.” A real friend will respect that. If they keep going, pressure you or ask you to keep it secret, you can block or report them and talk to an adult you trust.
If the sexting includes a nude and you feel comfortable to reply, delete the image and let them know you’re not okay with receiving nudes. They may have sent it without stopping to think about how you would feel, so being clear might be enough for them to understand and not do it again. You can be direct, or even use a bit of humour or a meme if that feels more like you.
The age of consent in Queensland is 16, but the law around nudes is different. Sexual images of anyone under 18 can result in serious legal problems, so don’t save, screenshot or share the nude. If you need evidence, screenshot the messages, username, date and time, but not the image itself.
You don’t have to handle this alone or know the perfect thing to do. A trusted adult, like a family member, teacher or school wellbeing person, can help you work out what happens next. You can also report the image or account through the app, especially if they keep going after you’ve asked them to stop. This may help protect other people too.
Most importantly, please don’t panic. You haven’t done anything wrong by receiving it, and asking for help won’t get you in trouble. You can find more advice on the eSafety website here: https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/receiving-unwanted-nudes
“What if the person you are dating fights a guy for you?”
Someone fighting “for you” might be presented as romantic or protective, but violence can quickly make things more dangerous for everyone. A caring partner should listen to what you want and help you feel safe, not make the situation bigger or decide that fighting is the answer.
Once everyone is safe, tell the person you're dating clearly that you do not want them fighting for you. Pay attention to how they respond. Taking responsibility and respecting your boundary is very different from blaming you, boasting about the fight or using jealousy as an excuse.
If they regularly start fights, threaten people, control who you speak to or make you feel frightened, talk to a trusted adult or support person. You can also use the support links on this page to speak privately with someone who can help you work out what to do next. Kids Helpline is available on 1800 55 1800, and 1800RESPECT is available on 1800 737 732. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 000.
You are not responsible for their decision to fight, and you do not have to stay with someone whose behaviour makes you feel unsafe.
“What if one person likes me and I'm dating someone, then l said no to them kindly but they are trying to make my life a living hell?”
First, you did nothing wrong. You were honest, you were kind and you said no. That was enough.
Being rejected can hurt, but trying to punish you for it is not okay, and it is not your job to make them feel better by changing your answer. If you need to, send one clear message: “I’ve already said no. I need you to stop contacting me and leave me alone.” Then stop arguing your case. “No” is a complete answer, not the beginning of a negotiation.
Save screenshots and details of what they are doing, then block them where you can. Tell a trusted adult, teacher or school wellbeing worker, especially if they are spreading rumours, threatening you, following you, repeatedly contacting you or trying to damage your friendships or relationship. You can also contact Kids Helpline on **1800 55 1800** for private support.
“What if everyone makes fun of you for dating a person that you like then they make fun of you 24/7?”
That sounds really hurtful and exhausting, I'm sorry this is happening. Liking someone should be exciting, not something that makes you dread school, your group chat or the next “joke” someone is going to make.
You do not need everyone’s approval to date someone you like and of course it's normal that not everyone get's along... But respect means accepting that you like them and not making either of you feel bad about it.
If it feels safe, be direct: “You’ve made the joke. It wasn’t funny. Stop.” You do not have to laugh along, defend your relationship or convince anyone that the person you like is “good enough.”
If it keeps happening, it is no longer harmless. Save screenshots, block or mute people online and tell someone who will actually help, like a trusted adult, teacher or school wellbeing worker. You could also talk privately with Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or through their online chat too.
And check in with the person you’re dating too. You’re both dealing with this, and neither of you should have to handle it alone. Please remember that people can (and will) always have opinions, but they do not get a vote in your relationship. You deserve friends who might not always understand your choices, but still treat you and the person you care about with respect.
