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It can feel really lonely to keep ourselves hidden - we should never have to hide our true selves or face the hard stuff alone!

Making the decision to tell or show people who we are looks different for everyone, telling a safe adult is often a great place to start! If you think you might be ready to share and meet people who understand, there are safe spaces available! In Cairns for example, youth organisation YETI, run a group called SSAY-IT!

The group seeks to provide a safe and supportive, peer-led space for young people to explore their gender and sexuality. Diverse bodies, gender and sexuality may include but is definitely not limited to – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Gender Fluid, Trans, Intersex, Queer, BrotherBois, SistaGirls, and people who are Questioning.

You can find more info about the group on IG @ssayit_yeti

Consent must be given freely, willingly and enthusiastically. You can also think of the FRIES graphic – consent is Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific.

No matter whether it was holding hands, kissing, or sexual – it shouldn’t have happened if you did not give consent.

If your situation was sexual - it doesn’t matter if you have had sex with the person before, it doesn’t matter what your relationship is – if you say no at any point and the other person does not stop then it is sexual assault. It is normal after this has happened to have lots of confusing feelings, including feeling of enjoyment.

Trust yourself, you haven’t done anything wrong.

If someone has assaulted you, you may not feel confident about what to do next. Trust your instincts. Remember that it’s never okay for someone to assault you for any reason.

Find someone you feel you can talk to about it, such as a friend, family member, counsellor, school nurse or youth worker. In Cairns we have True Child & Family Service – 4281 6893, at 216 Draper St Parramatta Park who provide counselling and support. You can also call Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 or 1800RESPECT at any time or use their webchat.

Have a look at this post on our website for more info - http://respectme.org.au/sex-without-consent-rape/

It's very normal to masturbate. Most people do at some point in their lives, and continue to do so, even if they are in a relationship. It doesn't mean someone is sad or desperate if they masturbate; it's part of human sexuality and self-expression and is also an important part of learning about what you enjoy sexually. There are no rules about how much or how little someone should masturbate and it is common for people your age to masturbate regularly. Just make sure you are masturbating in a private place like your bedroom or bathroom.

There are a number of things to keep in mind when you are entering a sexual relationship. Firstly there is the issue of consent.  By law, in QLD, a person under the age of 16 cannot give consent.  Consent needs to be free, willing and enthusiastic, so spend a bit of time thinking yourself, and talking to your partner about your feelings and readiness for a sexual relationship.  Are you both able to speak freely to each about what you are comfortable doing, and any boundaries that you have?  Are you confident that you both feel the same way and no one is feeling pressured by expectations?  You have the responsibility to ensure that your partner feels safe and supported, and they have the responsibility as well to ensure that you feel the same way. 

Establishing those great communication skills and a healthy and free relationship is a great start, but remember as well that consent is an ongoing conversation.  You or your partner can stop or change your mind, and it’s both of your responsibility to make sure you check in and make sure that you have consent throughout.  This doesn’t have to be weird or awkward - just ask ‘is this ok?”, or “do you like that?” and it can be a fun and sexy part of sex. 

There are also responsibilities around sexual health. Some people like to go for a sexual health check before entering a sexual relationship with a new partner.  Not only do you ensure that you are healthy, but it also gives you the opportunity to discuss any questions you may have with a health professional.  Even after a health check it is always important to use protection such as condoms, which protect against sexually transmitted infections as well as helping to prevent unwanted pregnancy.  Well done for thinking about responsibilities before taking this step in your life! 

~ Bonnie