“My 2 friends are fighting and I am in the middle of it.. what should I do?”
It can feel really stressful being stuck between two friends who are fighting. Remember, you don’t have to choose a side or fix the argument for them.
You could tell them, “I care about both of you, but I don’t want to be in the middle.” Try not to pass messages, share screenshots or join in with gossip. Encourage them to speak directly to each other when they are calm and ready to be respectful.
If the fighting involves bullying, threats or makes you feel unsafe, please talk to a trusted adult. You deserve to feel safe - always - and friendships where you aren’t made responsible for other people’s problems.
“I’m scared I might date someone who turns out to be unsafe. How can I tell if someone is right for me?”
We know that dating and even just thinking about dating can be really overwhelming sometimes. The good news is that you don’t have to know straight away, and choosing to date someone isn’t one big decision you have to get perfectly right. You can take your time, get to know them and change your mind at any point.
There are lots of things that would make someone right for you. A good foundation is someone who will respect your “no,” give you space and is okay with you having other friends. You should feel able to be yourself, speak honestly and make your own choices around them. They won’t pressure you, rush you or ask you to keep uncomfortable secrets.
You also don’t have to notice every warning sign on your own. If someone starts making all the decisions, constantly checks where you are, follows you or keeps contacting you after you ask them to stop, tell an adult you trust.
You don’t need to find the perfect person. Take things slowly, notice how they treat you and remember that safe relationships should feel respectful, equal and comfortable. If something doesn’t feel right, you can step back and talk it through with someone you trust.
“Do you like cheese?”
Yes. VPG's RespectMe team is categorically pro-cheese. Thank you for asking the important questions.
“Why are boys so annoying?”
Honestly, people can be annoying sometimes, no matter their gender! We don’t know exactly what happened or why these boys in particular are annoying you... but let’s see if we can work through it!
Sometimes it can feel like boys and girls communicate, joke around or handle friendships differently. But that doesn’t mean all boys act one way and all girls act another. Saying things like “all boys are annoying” is a bit like saying “all girls love pink” or “all girls are dramatic.” It puts everyone in the same box instead of giving us a chance to know what they’re actually like.
It can be helpful to think about exactly what the person (or people) are doing that is getting on your nerves. Is there something you want them to stop or do differently? Once you know what is bothering you, it can be easier to decide whether to let it go, say something or ask for support.
Whatever is happening, how you feel matters. If someone keeps upsetting you or makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, tell an adult you trust. Together, you can work out what to do next.
